Nobody loves flat-pack. You open the box, tip out forty bags of screws, unfold the instructions, and half an hour later you are on your knees wondering which panel is which. I build flat-pack in Fairford homes, at Water Park holiday lets, and in second homes whose owners have had IKEA delivered and need someone to actually put it together.

Why Fairford keeps me busy

Holiday lodges at the Cotswold Water Park need furniture replaced as guests wear things out. Owners often live in London or Bristol. They order replacements online, get them delivered to the lodge, then ring me to assemble and take the packaging away.

Second-home owners in Fairford itself do the same thing: order from IKEA, get it delivered, call me to build it before the next weekend visit.

Brands I have built

IKEA is the most common. Pax wardrobes, Malm beds, Billy bookcases, Hemnes dressing tables. Also Argos, Wayfair, Made, John Lewis, Dunelm, Habitat, B&Q. Outdoor furniture from Keter, Rowlinson and Forest. Garden sheds up to about 8 by 6 feet. Trampolines. Playhouses. Desks and office chairs.

What usually goes wrong

Steps done out of order. A panel the wrong way round. A cam lock over-tightened so the chipboard strips out. Drawer runners on the wrong side. Hinges out of line so the door won't shut flush.

I have built enough of these to spot the awkward step before it becomes a problem. The instructions never warn you about the tricky bit. Experience does.

How I work

I clear enough floor space, lay the parts out, check them against the inventory list. I build in the room where the unit will live so it does not have to go through a doorway afterwards. I level it, test doors and drawers, and stack the packaging for recycling or take it away.

Rough timings

Standard double wardrobe: about 90 minutes. King size bed frame: an hour. Three-door Pax: closer to half a day. A 6-by-4 garden shed: about half a day (4 hours). I'll give you a time estimate when you describe the item.

Pricing

The first hour is £55 and includes getting to you if you're within five miles of Cirencester. After that it's £35 an hour, charged in half-hours. Got a longer list? A half day (4 hours) is £125 and a full day (8 hours) is £230. Fairford is about four miles beyond my five-mile zone, so mileage is roughly £3.50 a visit: 45p for each mile beyond the first five, there and back. For holiday let owners booking several items at once, a half or full day is usually the cheapest way to do it.

How to book

Call me on 07803 176290. Email and the contact form work too. If you own a second home here, you can arrange and pay for a visit by phone or email without being there.

Flat-pack assembly in Fairford